Revisiting 2020

So now we're in lockdown proper again, much the same as in March (how discouraging is that?) but with a few differences. One of these is that golf courses (in Scotland) aren't closed, which I think is very sensible, though personally disappointing to us, who so enjoyed roaming over them. However, today they were closed because of the remaining snow, so we walked up to the golf course on the hill for the first time since May 28 last year. It was so lovely to be up there again, though the weather was dull, the ground was muddy and in places still a bit icy and the trees were bare. It certainly felt like winter. 

Still, on the positive side, the gorse is starting to bloom. 

We looked down over the south of the city towards the Pentland Hills, 

which were not inviting. Or, not to us. 

Since now would not be the time to break a limb, we didn't go up this path, as we did before so many times. Look at all those dead twigs, which used to - and will again - look like this: 

Isn't nature amazing? Beautiful red campion. 

We admired the heather, which is of course winter-flowering but which we chose to regard as another sign of spring. 

And we said hello to the distant city skyline. 

On the way out, I noticed that this very long-flowering hellebore is starting to flower again. I wish I were the sort of person who has the nerve to pop round with a trowel and dig a tiny bit up. But I'm not. 

So we're trying to be cheerful but are, like everyone else, fairly fed up. Under the current rules, we're allowed to spend time outside as long as there are a maximum of two people from a maximum of two households - though children under 11 don't count. So we can both go for a walk with the Edinburgh grandchildren but not their parents, or one of us can go for a walk with our daughter but not our son-in-law. This seems a bit mad to us, but I suppose they're trying to make it simple (it would be a lot simpler if England and Scotland were the same, though). We can't go into other people's houses except for caring duties, and since home-schooling starts on the 11th and Daughter 1 is working, I shall be going into their house to help Son-in-Law with the children. He's not very well; and all in all, caring will be involved. So at least I'll be able to see them, though Mr Life won't - apart from walking as above. 

It's a bit drear. 

I've been going through old photos and writing information on the back, like a good person who doesn't make quilts. It's pleasurable in a way but on the other hand also rather sobering to see these young people smiling and looking forward to their lives when I know that these lives are now over. And seeing our three children all together as little ones - now so far apart, which is something I never expected (though possibly I should have) - well, it does tug at the heart strings. Ah well. We must just accept the inevitable and get on with things. I do long to see them, though, and their little ones.