On Tuesday, we drove up in the rain to Son's house, because the school teachers were on strike and the children were therefore not at school. We met them at a soft play/trampoline centre. The children had a great time. Son is a very good, active father.
At home, he rigged up a string and they all played badminton with a balloon. The little ones were surprisingly good with their racquets, though it's much easier with a balloon than with a shuttlecock. Again, it was good fun. The walls and ceiling look interestingly striped in this photo, though they're actually plain cream - the stripes are the effect of light coming out from a shade with slits in it.
It's been quite a social week - coffee with eight ex-colleagues on Monday at my house - we meet up every Monday for an hour or so, which is a great way to keep up with one another without any great effort on anyone's side. One week we're here and the alternate week at another person's, and if someone can't make it one week it doesn't matter because there's always the next week. Then Tuesday - up north. On Wednesday I had lunch with three schoolfriends - we were in the same class from the age of 5 to the age of 18, and meet up every three months. So that was lovely. And today I had coffee with another friend and we compared the progress of our arthritis and discussed the vexed question of what the best time is to downsize. Despite how this sounds, we had quite a jolly time. We also talked about books.
The downsizing thing is really difficult. I want the family to be able to come and stay, and at the moment feel quite able to have them. But we have a five-bedroom house and lots of stuff, so the trick will be to catch the moment when we're still just about able to do all the appalling sorting out and decision-making, but we nevertheless know that the time has come to move to a small flat (oh dear) with no garden (oh NO!). Is this a likely conjunction of circumstances?? At the moment I would hate not to have a garden, and yet the old joints get quite sore when I've been working outside and I'm only (only!) 72. As everyone always says, I don't feel old inside my head. But facts must be faced. Just not yet... .
Son is such a fun father! I wish I had some badminton paddles(?) -- that would be a perfect activity for the granddaughters when they come to visit. I worry about the downsizing thing ALL the time -- sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep worrying about it. We still use all our rooms, so can't see how we could downsize yet, but I worry that we'll be physically unable to do it at some point and will have missed the boat. I don't feel old either, but I'm unpleasantly reminded that I am when I try to get up and down from the floor to play with the girls. So sad ...
ReplyDeleteSon looks like he's a big kid himself! (those kind of parents are the most fun) I LOVE all the coffee dates and get togethers; I'm doing some, but not as many as you. Downsizing is a sore subject because it requires an immense amount of physical and mental energy. And many decisions and changes. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI was 73 and R 74 when we downsized..in area of land - not size of house. We were not ready to go to the city ( and probably never will be ) For us it was leaving behind tractors etc not personal possessions. We have a space / very small room under the stairs which is useful for things we couldn't part with .
ReplyDeleteDoesn't it make you feel proud when you see what wonderful parents you've raised. It makes mess pleased and confident the next generation is going to be Ok.
ReplyDeleteWe faced the first round of downsizing some years ago. I did 95% of it!! We lived in a lovely, huge 1930 Art and Crafts home with 4 bedrooms, a study, three bathrooms, a spa room, three living rooms and a huge Mezzanine I used as an Embroidery room when it wasn't being used to play pool. Far Too Big... and a huge maintenance problem. SO, I found a young student who earned money on the side doing painting, and had him come whenever he had a few days free, and we worked our way around, decluttering, painting and recurtaining room by room. When we finally found the 'perfect downsize' for us, the house was able to go on the market in a matter of a few days. BUT, I'd done a year's work behind the scenes quietly and slowly.
Would that help? So you're 'ready to go' when the right place (with a little garden, and low maintenance) comes up!
It's difficult for parents when schools are affected by strikes but your son seems to have enjoyed himself. As for downsizing, I don't know whether we ever will. We accumulate more and more with each passing year!
ReplyDeleteI have found a way back in to the comments section with help, and wanted to say that the downsizing dilemma is exactly the same here. I am fiddling about with the stuff but making only the smallest dent in it. But I do want to spare my sons the awful job of clearing the family home. My parents did not and we made some bad forced decisions in a very short time - much of which meant hurling things into a skip and getting in a clearance firm who did rather well out of us.
ReplyDeleteThe downsizing is a long slow process, but worth the effort both for you (now) and your children much later.
ReplyDelete