Scones and things

I was born on the fourth of July, or as I suppose Americans think of it, the Fourth of July. Thank you, kind commenters, for your greetings. I think it’s a good day to be born. It’s not only that citizens of the USA celebrate it with gratifying enthusiasm; it’s also pretty nicely situated between Christmasses, so one has built up a list of wanted gift items in case anyone asks. And they did, as you see from the above haul. And also it falls in the college holidays and the second week of Wimbledon, and a birthday is a good excuse to sit and watch tennis, though this year it kept raining in London and there wasn’t much play.

Some of my cards had a certain feline theme, as you may notice.

I don’t think I’m very talented as a cat trainer. The only aspect of their behaviour we’re really attempting to change is to stop them walking on tables. Either they don’t understand or – and I rather favour this interpretation – they don’t care. My cat book says that we’re supposed to tap them on the nose when they do something undesirable, but this seems mean. Their noses are very small. So we’re trying finger-waggling instead. Promisingly, they don’t really like having fingers waggled at them.

They react slightly differently to this nasty gesture. Cassie looks aghast and collapses submissively on her side, thus revealing the extreme fluffiness of her tummy. Then I go “Oh, fluffy girl!” and tickle her tummy, and she purrs. Sirius, on the other hand, just stares at me with reproach and freezes. I then pick him up, he starts purring loudly and I give him a cuddle.

Somehow this disciplinary measure doesn’t seem to be working. How did we manage to bring up three law-abiding children? And how do I succeed in keeping the attention of lots of young people in the course of my job?

Scones

Yummers asked for a scone recipe, so here it is. I’d like to point out that this is pronounced with a short “o”, as in “hot” (think Scottish accents here, Joni). (Some?) English people pronounce it with a long “o”, as in “hope”. But these are Scottish scones. I’ve tried to translate the recipe into cup measures as much as I could, though how to measure butter in cups is somewhat beyond me. Or indeed why anyone would want to. Also, I never remember American flour names. I think “all-purpose flour” is what we call plain flour, but I don’t know what self-raising flour would be. Anyway, as the name suggests, it’s flour with some raising agent in it – about the same as you’d use for cakes.

I don’t do metric. But if anyone cares, there are 14 ounces in a pound, and a kilo is 2.2 pounds or something.

So, in ounces and things:

Ingredients

8 oz self-raising flour

2 oz margarine or butter

milk to mix – around ¼ pint

egg to glaze, or just use milk (it’s almost as good).

Or

1 and a half cups self-raising flour

¼ cup butter or margarine

milk to mix – around ¾ cup

egg or milk to glaze

Method:

Chop butter into pieces and rub into flour with fingers – or use a mixer/ food processor– till the mixture is like fine breadcrumbs. Then add milk until the mix is combined, but not too wet and sticky. You need to be able to roll it out on a floured board to a thickness of about… oh, I don’t know… an inch? … and then cut it into rounds with a scone cutter or biscuit cutter or if all else fails, a cup. Well, obviously you could make squares if you want.

Squash up the remains, roll it out again and repeat the process of cutting.

Glaze the scones in milk/egg, put on a greased baking tray and bake for about 7-10 minutes in a hot oven, maybe 450 F or 250 C, gas mark 8. Eat with butter/jam/honey/whatever. You could add various things to the mix, eg a handful of sultanas or raisins or a cup of grated cheese.

Hope this works transatlantically. Happy afternoon tea!