Thank you for all your kind sympathy after my shameless demand for it. I shall try to stiffen my upper lip for a while now. No guarantees, though.
I was listening to the radio yesterday, to a programme called “Gardeners’ Question Time”. The premise of the show is simple: people ask questions and expert gardeners answer these questions. For a change, yesterday, an audience member produced a piece of advice on how to remove pondweed from your garden pond.
What you should do, she said, is fall into the pond wearing nothing but a white towelling dressing gown. You then scramble out and will find that your dressing gown has attracted most of the weed to it. You look, she said, like a green giant. The slight disadvantage is that you have to take off the dressing gown in your garden, since otherwise you’d make a big pondwatery/weedy mess in your house, but as long as your neighbours are broadminded, this is all right. Then, since you were just having a little potter in the garden after having had a shower and before dressing to go out to dinner, you have to get in the shower again. But it’s effective for the pondweed.
Maybe my lily-of-the-valley problems aren’t so bad.