Thursday, May 26, 2011

All change

Well, my poor little confused aunt died yesterday morning, aged almost 89, which was in many ways a great relief, since she's been so ill and unlike herself for the past two weeks. Still, it was a shock in a way as these things always are, and there has been the usual flurry of phone calls and arrangements which stop one from fully taking in what's happened.

Although she had become extremely forgetful, until those last weeks she never changed in personality from the stoical and cheerful person she's always been. She was a doctor in Pakistan from 1951 till her retiral and had a very interesting and exciting life. Though married, she was childless because she was unwell as a teenager and had an ovary removed. Then, in a separate operation a few years later, the second ovary was removed by a doctor who didn't read her notes, didn't thus realise the implications of taking out the second one and had a better-out-than-in policy.

Because she became seriously confused only in the last couple of years, I remember her very well as an energetic, matter-of-fact and very capable lady. I hope soon to forget her last days, when she lay in bed looking anxious and bewildered, and touchingly like my dad, her brother, in his last, sad weeks.

I'm not a person who craves excitement. Yet this year:

Son got engaged and is buying a house with his beloved.
Mum's trying to sell her flat and is planning to move in with us.
Daughter 1's having a baby.
Aunt has died.
Daughter 2's settled(ish) in London and getting married to her actor chap in September.

And I'm retiring on July 1.

It's all a bit much. But meanwhile - back to the marking.

32 comments:

  1. Many, many hugs for you, Isabelle. What a year it has been for you. I am sorry for your loss.

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  2. I am sorry to learn of your poor aunt's death, and send sympathy for your bereavement.
    That last period of confusion and forgetfulness is very sad for all.
    Lots of love and hugs from me.

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  3. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Aunt.

    Thankfully much of your excitement is of the happy kind but it can all feel a bit much when crammed into half a year!

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  4. and the year is not even half over...
    Am sorry to hear about your aunt.

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  5. I'm sorry for your loss.

    But... you're retiring?!? How exciting!

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  6. i grieve with thee...

    and celebrate your joys.

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  7. May she rest in peace. Meanwhile----you're retiring? Of course---you have to be free to spend as much time as possible with your impending grandchild! Good move.

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  8. I am so sorry for your loss. Many, many warm hugs to you!

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  9. I am sorry for your loss...she sounds like a wonderful woman. Your year is like every year can be I suppose....good and bad, but one that you are riding through with grace. Look forward to the retirement and the grandchild and change of routine and pace.

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  10. Sorry for your loss. I sympathise with the wanting a quiet second half of the year; after the death of my friend and my step-father, the cat getting run over and the small son breaking his arm, I am hoping for the rest of this year to be boring too! I'm glad to hear that some of your upheavals will be happy - in particular the arrival of a grandchild and the opportunity to do as much gardening and singing as you like! Not to mention No More Marking!

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  11. I send my sympathy.
    What a mixture of sadness and happiness your year has been so far.

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  12. Oh, Isabelle..... deep and heartfelt commiserations.

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  13. Condolences from me too. It's very sad to lose someone, especially someone who sounds like they were quite special. And a shame that her passing was wreathed in confusion and bewilderment.

    But the other things that are happening are going to be exciting and hopefully positive.

    Good luck with the retirement, that's brilliant news! Are you and your mum going to be able to cope with all that togetherness???

    Lesley xx

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  14. It sounds as though your aunt had reached her time to go, worn out after a long life. But the end of a long life and of a lifelong relationship is never anything but sad and shocking. What a lot you have had to deal with this year - a rich life, full of love, but totally exhausting, I'm sure. Take good care of yourself. Perhaps you might manage a little time out every now and then for fantasising about what you might like to do entirely for our own pleasure in a few momths time when the wedding, the birth and your mother's move are over?

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  15. Momths is just a typo, but come to think of it may feel like an appropriate neologism?

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  16. So sorry to hear about your Aunt, Isabelle. What a lot of other good and exciting things are happening - life's always all or nothing isn't it? It's quite nothing here if you don't count the water leak palaver.

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  17. So sorry for your loss... sending ((HUGS )) your way.

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  18. That is all a bit much Isabelle. I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt. I'm glad you have the baby to look forward to -- hopefully such a happy event will eclipse the sad events. XOXO

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  19. It has been quite a year for you so far. I am sad to hear that your aunt has passed away, Isabelle - my sympathy to you and your family.
    The great news is that you are retiring soon! That will be a wonderful change for you, I am sure, and give you plenty of time to play with grandbabies too.

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  20. Anonymous4:38 pm

    My thoughts are with you - may the happy memories quickly replace the more recent times.

    Amy

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  21. sending good thoughts and hoping you get some rest in all the turbulence, sadness and excitement.

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  22. Just caught this post before I lose my internet connection for the next week or so. Sorry to hear about your aunt - what a lot you're dealing with this year! Sending you hugs

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  23. So sorry to hear that, Isabelle - it's always sad when you finally lose someone, no matter how much relief is mixed in with the sadness.

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  24. Oh, my condolences to you all Isabelle.

    What a year you're having.

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  25. I am sorry for your loss, I'm sure the good memories of your remarkable aunt will very soon eclipse the sadness of her last days. I think you will have earned your retirement.

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  26. So sorry for the loss of your aunt. No matter how old a person is, it is always a great loss to see a life end . I recently lost my mother and brother, and it has been tremendously sad. However, like you, life goes on and the kiddos grow up and their life changes change mine also. (Especially becoming a grandparent.) It just demonstrates that life goes on and on and on.

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  27. I am adding my condolences to the list, dear Isabelle. Sad loss from your perspective, but a peaceful release from an unhappy last few months. It was best for you all that she didn't linger on in that state for years, as many elderly people do.
    You retiring?? That sounds like a sudden decision! I only say that because from reading your blog I've always had the impression that you had intended to continue working for some time yet! Your colleagues and staff will miss you, I bet!

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  28. so sorry to hear about your aunt.

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  29. Hugs to you, strong lady. Keep your chin up and your eyes forward. We're all sending you strength.

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  30. Condolences on your aunt's passing. But congratulations on your upcoming retirement. I have a friend who is a literature professor in Virginia and about my age, late fifties. He says he doesn't contemplate retiring in this lifetime, since he still has children in grade school.

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  31. Goodness! So much going on.
    I didnt know you were retiring. So soon, July is less than a month away.

    I am sorry for the loss of your aunt, but I am very happy about all the other things..

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