Monday, June 25, 2012

I to the hills

Apart from the various really quite serious things wrong in my relatives' lives at the moment (though there are lots of good things too) I wish to put in a complaint to the management about some further items:

1) My garden is a haven for slugs. Standing at my patio doors one drizzly evening, Daughter 1 counted, at a cursory glance, sixteen slugs busily making their way across the lawn in different directions towards various beloved plants. There are probably thousands in the undergrowth and THEY'RE EATING MY GARDEN!

2) Daughter 1 and Son-in-Law 1 have a mouse in their house. They have in fact just this moment (don't say I don't bring you drama) caught it in a humane trap and SIL 1 is about to take it for a long walk outside, but this is a recurring problem that they need to solve. It's made very much worse by the fact that SIL 1, though a lovely chap, suffers from depression and OCD, and a free-range mouse seems much more of a problem to him than it might to other people. Also the pair of them are soft-hearted animal lovers and don't want to hurt any mice.

3) My choir is going to be auditioned next year. I shall probably be so nervous that I will mess up my audition. Up to now, it's been a happy come-along sort of affair.

4) I can't play my latest tune, or at least not at any speed. I Googled it and found a small girl who can play it with gusto.  Here she is. How discouraging.

5) Cassie Cat hasn't come in this evening. It's one minute past midnight. I've been out whistling for her, which usually works, but there's no sign of her. I know she's probably having a happy time terrorising the neighbourhood mice (now, there's an irony) and giggling at me from the hedge, but I would like her to be safely in her bed in the kitchen. Do you think there's any chance she's hunting slugs? No, me neither.

6) I would like to be on the top of a smallish hill such as The Knock at Crieff, above, gazing towards other, bigger hills which I wouldn't have to climb, on a warm (but not hot) day, with the sound of nothing but birdsong and rustling grasses in my ears and nothing to worry about. And I'm not.


  1. What a lovely place in your photo.....a peaceful spot to sit for a while. One of our cats is a very good mouser, she could help with the mouse problem but it's a long way for her to go.

  2. 1. Exterminate with gusto.
    2.Exterminate with even more gusto. Buy gift mousetrap. Mice are pests and vermin.
    3.Huge wave of sympathetic understanding. Auditions are scary experiences. I am by no means convinced of their necessity. However most of the choir will be similarly afflicted, so that should give you a level playing field (is this the appropriate cliche?)
    4. I wouldn't be able to play it either. At least you are better at it than I am.
    5. Close door, go to bed and fall sleep. That will provoke indignant yowls from outside, even if it does disturb your sleep.
    6.Good luck.

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  4. Just like Persiflage I have some answers.
    #1 Kill them!( with your foot or your fingers or salt or collect them and take to someone who has chooks )( at least look under your flower pots and other hiding places and find where they are breeding )
    # 2 Kill it !
    #3.Take something calming before hand.
    #4.Practise practise. It's a lovely tune and worth the work you put in.
    #5.I think you have a cat flap for late arrivals....try not to stress.
    #6 Go back and visit that lovely Botanics and take your book.
    ( sorry if your readers are turning out to be a lot of smart mouths.)

  5. But that warm (not hot) day will come. And then help cometh from the ... Neighbour of mine plagued also by slugs. She uses a lot of cheap Lidl beer in strange contraptions from the garden centre. She doesn't seem to like the cover them with salt and watch them squirm approach.

  6. Naughty little Cassie! My mother has a cat (Sally, who coincidentally is all black like Cassie and Sirius) who loves to play the stay out way past her bedtime game. Last night at midnight we were both out calling for her to no avail. Maybe, unbeknownst to use, Sally and Cassie can fly and they were having a little party somewhere between the two of us.

    Slugs! Ick! Sorry I don't know of any remedies. ;-(

  7. I hope Cassie came back safely after her hunting spree. My Lucy Cat brought home a mouse last night. It was well and unharmed, so I cornered it in the porch and it is now back in the hedgerow and hopefully finding its way home!

    Not so good when the rats moved in last winter. They, I`m afraid, had to be dealt with.......

  8. I'm, quite unreasonably so, terrified of slugs and snails. Pour salt on them, lay out a pan of beer, do whatever is necessary to get rid of them.
    We use a humane trap to capture oposums in our yard and they just keep coming back.
    Loan your cat to your daughter, nothing lasts long in our house the cat runs them down.
    I only let my cat out on a leash, lost my last cat to dogs.
    Quit playing Bach, he's boring, play Mozart.

  9. Beer for the slugs - better to go out drunk.
    Can't help with mouse, once cat brings them in the house he looses interest and I must hunt down until caught or Mom gets very concerned (I take them back to the fields).
    I flubbed my last audition, so no help here again.
    I practiced for 12 years and now hate the piano.
    Turn off the lights as if going to bed - works 99.9% of the time here.
    Ice cold milk and fresh baked cookies on the porch with a good book.
    (So ok, wine, cheese and crackers is the usual, but I try not to drag people down my path.)