Thursday, March 06, 2008

Remembering Dad



I'm not one for ascribing great significance to dreams but I had a very strange and vivid one this morning just before I woke up.

I was at some sort of function and went into a room to find my father - who died on April 1 last year after a sad decline - standing leaning against the wall on the right, looking at me. He was an old man, as he was before his last illness. But then, standing behind him in a line were different versions of him - slightly younger each time. I walked down, just looking at them all. The last one in the line was him as he was when I was little, with his hair slightly ruffled as it is in a photo we have of him standing in the garden. He would be in his early thirties.

When I got to the end of the line I put my arms round this youngest Dad, and we stood hugging, not speaking, though I had my head turned away into his shoulder and couldn't see him.

Then I woke up. I have tears in my eyes as I type this, but it was actually a nice dream. "Nice" is such a feeble word but I can't think of a better one. Comforting, maybe. But also sad.

21 comments:

kirsty said...

Isabelle, that is just lovely! I have dreams about my son and my grandparents sometines. I wake up feeling as if I've been with them. It sounds as if that's what this dream did for you.

jkhenson said...

Hugs to you Isabelle. Interesting when dreams can be both happy and sad, real and fleeting, at the same time. I'm glad you got to have a moment with your dad...

Stomper Girl said...

That was a special dream.

Shauna said...

Oh that is a beautiful dream. xxxxxx

kissa said...

This sounds like such a special dream. So much emotion it seems like a shame to wake up when you did but try and keep this dream alive in your memory.

Loth said...

How lovely. Makes me want to go and hug my own dad. I'd be interested to know if your dad was the "huggy" type during his life. Mine isn't, really (my family are not very demonstrative) and I wonder if I dreamed of him, whether we would hug or whether we would just, you know, nod at each other and go "Alright?"

Dawn said...

That's really nice that you can see him, really see him at so many different stages of his life. Maybe it's your minds way of bringing him back when he was in good health.

Thimbleanna said...

What an interesting dream Isabelle. Sending you cyber hugs for your tears. And that a lovely picture of your dad too. XO

Tall Girl said...

what an amazing and powerful encounter for you! I could never dream anything like this!!

Ali Honey said...

That was interesting seeing his many stages. I wonder what our dreams realy mean? Are we just going through our mental files we have stored away? ( sometimes they are in a mixed up mess and become nightmares? ) I'd love to know more, wouldn't you?

leslie said...

How wonderful for you that you remembered the dream and that you have shared it with us. Just writing it all down will help keep it alive in your head and your heart. When my husband died, he came to me one day for just a fleeting moment to say, "I'm okay now Sweetie," and I've never forgotten that moment. Then last fall, after my Dad passed away, finally to be reunited with my Mom, they both came and walked with me a ways, one on each side of me - it was as though they were telling me they were together again and that I'd see them again some day. I know that I will always treasure those moments, as you will do with the dream you had of your Dad.

meggie said...

It brings mixed feelings to think about yuor dream.I understand it would be lovely, but at the same time, rather strange upon waking.

Kathy said...

Isabelle, what a special dream. I'm not one to ascribe much meaning to dreams in general - it's just my brain sorting stuff out - but dreams like the one you described are wonderful.

Hugs. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Sometimes 'nice' is the perfect word to use.

Alison said...

Oh Isabelle, what a lovely dream to have. Even if it makes you sad that he's no longer around, you got to "spend time" with your dad and have an emotional connection to him xxx

Lucy said...

Beautiful, what a blessing!

Aunty Evil said...

That sounds like a wonderful dream. Especially if it left you feeling happy. Your dad was probably reaching out to you in your dreams.

Tracey Petersen said...

I often meet my grandfather in my dreams. I'm always so glad afterwards.

I'm pleased that your dad came to see you.

fifi said...

A lovely dream. I remember you writing about your father last year, and funnily enough, I occasionally think, here in the glare, "Oh, a Scottish gentleman would HATE this weather".

He sounds like such a wonderful man, and I am sure the universe just gave you a special reward, to be with him in your dreams like that.

I once had a dream similar, except I met all my different selves.

Avus said...

Popped by to thank you for visiting my blog.

As Tall Girl said, I never have dreams like that. Wonderful, but it must have been quite emotional for you (but also cathartic, perhaps?)

Molly said...

Yes, my daughter thinks that when I say something is "nice" that's like the kiss of death! But sometimes , as in this case , no other word quite works. You are a very intelligent dreamer. I usually can't make a coherent story out of the jumble of confusion I remember upon waking. I would love to have a dream like that.

Kerri said...

What a wonderful, sweet dream, and amazing to remember so much detail. I rarely do, and don't seem to dream much these days, at least not that I can recall upon waking.
This is a lovely picture of your dad. My dad died in June last year.