Friday, April 16, 2010
The difference between a person and a cat
Person is weeding flower bed in front of as-yet-leafless lilac hedge.
Cat comes and insinuates herself in the middle of this hedge to get a good view of proceedings.
Person notices that cat is sitting on a little clump of stinging nettle seedlings in the middle of the hedge; thinks Oh no, don’t get stung! Person realises that cat is furry; therefore cat’s bottom is also furry so presumably stingproof; but then cat’s … um… actual functioning bit of bottom is not. How nasty would it be to get stung on actual functioning bit of bottom?
Person reaches with difficulty into hedge, threading arm through scratchy bits of lilac, and yanks, at full stretch, on bits of nettle that cat’s not sitting on. Hedge retaliates by prodding person in chest and face.
Cat watches with interest.
Person extricates arm from hedge with bits of yanked-up nettle seedlings.
Cats shifts over to sniff at remaining bits of this patch. Oh no! Cat’s nose not furry and therefore not stingproof!
Person frantically heaves out remaining bits of this clump before cat can get stung; and then rethreads arm through sharp, tangled twigs to get at now-squashed nettles (previously sat on by cat). Squashed bits harder to get out, because squashed.
Cat wanders off, yawns, and lies down on grass in sunshine.
Person succeeds in removing final bits of nettle. Wryly regards various bleeding scratches on arm and is aware that despite gloves, she has managed to get stung on wrist.
Cat goes to sleep.
Posted by Pam at 1:10 pm