Friday, April 16, 2010

The difference between a person and a cat



Person is weeding flower bed in front of as-yet-leafless lilac hedge.

Cat comes and insinuates herself in the middle of this hedge to get a good view of proceedings.

Person notices that cat is sitting on a little clump of stinging nettle seedlings in the middle of the hedge; thinks Oh no, don’t get stung! Person realises that cat is furry; therefore cat’s bottom is also furry so presumably stingproof; but then cat’s … um… actual functioning bit of bottom is not. How nasty would it be to get stung on actual functioning bit of bottom?

Person reaches with difficulty into hedge, threading arm through scratchy bits of lilac, and yanks, at full stretch, on bits of nettle that cat’s not sitting on. Hedge retaliates by prodding person in chest and face.

Cat watches with interest.

Person extricates arm from hedge with bits of yanked-up nettle seedlings.

Cats shifts over to sniff at remaining bits of this patch. Oh no! Cat’s nose not furry and therefore not stingproof!

Person frantically heaves out remaining bits of this clump before cat can get stung; and then rethreads arm through sharp, tangled twigs to get at now-squashed nettles (previously sat on by cat). Squashed bits harder to get out, because squashed.

Cat wanders off, yawns, and lies down on grass in sunshine.

Person succeeds in removing final bits of nettle. Wryly regards various bleeding scratches on arm and is aware that despite gloves, she has managed to get stung on wrist.

Cat goes to sleep.

15 comments:

Thimbleanna said...

Oh no! Sorry about your stinging. I don't think I know what stinging nettle is -- does it only sting when you come in contact with it, or are you left with a stinging sensation for some time later? I hope the effect is fleeting. And I'm glad that Cassie wasn't stung in the nose...or the nether regions!

alison said...

Isn't that always the way? I've run across the room to stop Max from pulling something heavy down from the mantelpiece onto himself, only to drop it on my own foot.

kylieps said...

Cats are so perverse! I hope your wrist is feeling better. We had a little trick growing up where we would take a house cat up to the barn for a night if they weren't behaving or weren't interested in giving out cuddles anymore. By the morning, they would be full of joy and affection to find themselves back in the house!

daysgoby said...

A lovely tail on that one, (and your story too :) )

Lesley said...

I'm sure in a parallel universe the cat appreciates your efforts!

Lesley x

jkhenson said...

You are such a good pet owner. :) I hope the stinging isn't too bad!

persiflage said...

The things one does for a cat! And they expect no less, of course. How did they manage to train humans so well?

Linens and Royals said...

I love how cats are always so interested in whatever is being done: and then they go to sleep...

Ali Honey said...

Oops, sorry I laughed! Beautiful cat - wonderful owner; you did well. I think dock leaves are supposed to cool stinging nettle if you can find one. No ? Well roll on some deoderant then...cools wonderfully any sting or bite.

Loved your story; so well told.

herhimnbryn said...

All the while Cat is thinking,
'Why is she doing that? I am purrrfectly happy sitting here...'

Molly said...

I think it's time for Person to wander off, yawn and lie down in the sunshine, and for Cat to come and tenderly lick Person's wounds. Just an idea for you and Cassie to consider......

Relatively Retiring said...

Don't forget that some birds and animals actually get a bit of a thrill from such things - such as a woodpecker deliberately sitting on an ants' nest!

rachel said...

I've never seen a cat bothered in the slightest about nettles. Or dogs, for that matter. We, on the other hand......

Stomper Girl said...

Your cats are owned by very caring and lovely persons.

Gina E. said...

Cute story, Isabelle! I shudder when our cats play with spiders, even though I know cats are immune to spider bites. Snake bites are something else though - thank goodness we don't have too many snakes around here.