Monday, July 11, 2011

Where the heart lies

I was watching "Gardeners' World" the other day. A very posh lady was showing the presenter, Joe Swift, round her lovely garden in Somerset. They ended the tour at the opposite end of the (enormous) lawn from her (enormous) house. She was telling him how much she loved her planters - and they stopped beside an (enormous) stone urn overflowing with flowering plants.

"And this is the most important one," she said, "because when I die, my heart's going to be buried in it."

I don't know whether he's just a good actor - Joe Swift is, after all, the son of the actor Clive Swift and the novelist Margaret Drabble - but his eyes widened in apparent shock. (Huh? Yuck!)

You really have to imagine the lady's exceedingly posh, drawling, English accent. She went on, "I've asked the butcher" (oh no!) "but he won't do it." (Pronounced "wayoooon't dooooo it".)

She gave the teeniest of posh, you-can't-rely-on-the-working-classes shrugs. "So my son will do it."

18 comments:

  1. Makes a change from Blood, Fish and Bone for the geraniums, I suppose!
    That's interesting about Joe Swift, too.

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  2. I haven't been here for a few days, so catching up with you has been very entertaining. And by the look of it, retirement means your blog is going to be even more entertaining, now that you have more time to take more photos and write even more amusing posts for your loyal band of followers!
    (But I will miss those schoolboy howlers)
    Happy Birthday for 4th July!

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  3. I've been reminiscing. Before I left your blog, I clicked on your early posts in March 2006, and there I was with half a dozen other regular readers of In This Life. None of them look familiar names on your Comments page now - what good times they have missed! We've been bloggy friends for 6 years and a few months! Time flies when you're having fun. Even in cyberspace.

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  4. I saw her too, and thought how utterly wonderful she was!

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  5. I love eccentrics of all sorts - the world would be so boring without them! I'm also jealous that I don't have their confidence, but I do want to go whole to my grave!

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  6. That's a real conversation stopper isn't it. One can hardly say 'How nice!' (or probably it would have to be how neece).

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  7. And this is why we love British tv so much! Love your phonetic spellings -- just perfect!

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  8. Oh blimey, well done, Joe, for not throwing up or fainting, didn't know that about his parents. Of course, I am desperately trying to work out who most people are after 20 years in the big country. The biography section in Waterstones is a complete mystery to me. Hope Cassie and Sirius are feeling less ruffled and those awful people aren't being so cruel.

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  9. I was just reading today about how Thomas Hardy's heart got buried in a churchyard while the rest of him is in Poet's Corner. There's something so very distasteful about that, I don't know why. Hope you are enjoying your retirement. No, I really, really do ... am I not being convincing?....

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  10. Her poor son. Can't she ask the undertaker or suchwhat to do it for her?

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  11. I hope she's dead when he does it.

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  12. Like Fran, I thought of Thomas Hardy when I read this. Maybe that is where the Posh Lady got the idea from?

    There is a local story that Thomas Hardy`s heart was left on the kitchen table, after the Dr had removed it. He left the room, and when he returned, the cat had eaten half the heart! Thomas Hardy would have loved that......

    Now I am having thoughts of the Posh Lady`s heart being dug out of the urn by her cat.......!

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  13. If she's not careful, the son may do it tomorrow. Inheritance, you know.

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  14. It's so hard to get good help these days, isn't it? Obviously the butcher doesn't know his place. Just imagine the labrador (because those folk always have labs) digging it up......!

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  15. Oh don't worry about her..posh ladies always get what they want.....

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  16. I think mad posh old bats are great...just picture the scene at the butcher's shop....

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