Good grief. We've been away for a few days with our family and my brother and his family and I thought I would do a little post just to say I wasn't dead. But then I find that the Blogger dashboard has become completely different and incomprehensible. I am not a person who likes completely different. There's a wee video to explain everything with a breezy-voiced young man chuntering on about it but I am not a person who likes things to be explained on a wee video - I like nice lists that I can ponder at length. Anyway, the video went blank after about five seconds, though not before it had highlighted a picture of a pencil and indicated that this was the way to get a new post. Or that's what I think it was indicating. So I'll have a go.
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(Wail! Moan! Things fall apart!)
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Anyway, I very seriously don't have time to do this so I shall spare you, for the moment, the details of where we went, what we did and what we have to do in the next few days. I'll give you a hint of the last of these:
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Mother: We'll never get it all done. We have to hand the keys over on Friday.
Me: No, it's the next Friday. This Friday is the day that the auctioneers come and take things away.
Mother: You never told me that. No one ever told me that.
Me: This is the week we have to take away the things that our family said they wanted. We'll store them here till we see the children again. [My brother's family] have already taken the things they want.
Mother: But how on earth are you going to get [brother's family's] things to them?
Me: They've taken them.
Mother: But when?
Me: On Friday. When they were here.
Mother: No one told me that. No one told me what they were taking either.
Me: I gave you a list. You were quite happy with it. Look, here it is with your things.
Mother: I never saw that.
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And so on. Sigh. Gnash. Rend garments. Chew lips.
there is a special place in heaven for caretakers!
ReplyDeleteThe number of things I 'never told' my Mother were legion! My children said to keep a diary so that when I'm old(er) I can read it and remind myself that I'm not going to say and do all those things - but then my son said that there was no point because of course at that stage I wouldn't believe them when they told me I'd written it myself. The way my memory is going, I fear he may have a point! Hugs to you
ReplyDeleteOh dear...."been there....". Wishing you the patience of many saints!
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ReplyDeleteSigh. It's not easy, is it? Aside from all the pain of watching your parent decline. My sister called me tonight with a whole list of concerns about my parents. Our challenge is getting them to see that it's time for some changes. I feel your pain Sweet Pam!!!
ReplyDeleteOh dear - that does sound very difficult. My mother likes to call after 11 pm because she goes the wrong way with the time change... we have a similar conversation. I say, "Mom, when you call after 11 pm I think something is wrong."She says,"Is it that late?" "Yes" "Are you sure? I make it 9 pm." "No mom, we are 1 hour ahead of you, not behind you." "Are you sure?" "Yes." Why does she always think I am making this up? In any case, good luck wrapping things up!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but I fairly cackled at this! We really must introduce her to the Prince. They could compare notes. I'm sure they'd get along swimmingly. Imagine the list of grievances.......We could send them out to dinner together and they might have such a good time they'd never come back. I know, I know. I'll burn in hell for my sins. Like you, while grinding my teeth, I nod and smile and make sympathetic noises in the back of my throat.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the other side of the coin is that my children now sometimes tell me something that is completely new to me and they're convinced they've already told me all about it.....hmmmm! Maybe I should be a little more sympathetic!
Commiserations! But as Molly says, only twice (so far) have I seen the eye-rolling and heavy sighing that accompanies having to be told something - apparently - twice.
ReplyDeleteNaturally we all sympathise with those whose memories are becoming increasingly defective, but it certainly requires huge reserves of patience and kindness.
ReplyDeleteI have a fear that the germs of memory failure lurk like spores and from time to time get breathed in...
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ReplyDeletemy mother's getting a bit like this too, and it is a test of one's patience for sure...
ReplyDeleteWe've been seriously thinking of getting a dictophone to record all conversations with Mother-in-law - though daughter thinks we should have a video camera to keep a complete record!
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to keep the distinction between what she's forgotten, what she's conveniently forgotten and what she's turned a deaf ear to. Only one thing is certain, it's our fault. :-)
Drink gin!
ReplyDeleteHa - I get the stories, and worse, frequently about people I don't know, and after I hear the stories, people I no longer want to know. Why can't she tell me pleasant stories about these people instead of her gripes? At least on the 5th telling of what brother, s-i-l, grandchild, I care because I know them. The fifth telling about club members I want to rip hair out. Fortunately we haven't gotten to the "you didn't tell me" yet. Thanks for the warning.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who uses the word "chuntering" in conversation immediately becomes my favorite person of the day.
ReplyDeleteHello, favorite person of the day!
(Previously I only heard that from Lionel on "As Time Goes By", one of my favorite series ever...)