A guest post from Sirius and Cassie

Now then - we're cats. So, as you'll realise, we're energetic, loyal, unselfish... the list of our virtues is endless but we're too modest to detail them further. And all we ask in return for all these fine qualities is that we're allowed to have a quiet life.

A bit of sofa time, that's what we like. Well, a lot of sofa time. Preferably on, or beside, the legs of someone who's watching television - usually Mr Life. We're cool with television as long as it's not too loud.

However.

Recently, a Noisy Thing has entered our lives. To be fair - and we are careful to be scrupulously fair (we're cats) - the Thing is not always noisy. Sometimes it just sits there; sometimes it goes "Ah, gah, bah"; often it gets carried around and simply looks about the room. But sometimes it goes "WAAAAAAA!!!!!"

And everybody leaps to attention and gives it what it wants.

Now, we may be partly to blame. We have, admittedly, trained our servants to jump to our commands. But we are furry, handsome, purry, quiet. (We do attack the furniture at times: those fine claws of ours require to be kept razor sharp.)

Anyway, this is a formal warning. We do not approve of the Noisy Thing. We're not going as far as saying that someone has to go - either it or us. We're reasonable cats. But we won't stand for our peace being disturbed. Think on this, O servants.

(At least the Thing doesn't seem to be able to move about and chase us. Thank goodness. Just imagine what life would be like if it could.)